When watching a program, movie, or fictional genre rife with fake bands, it can get hard to separate the pretenders from the pretenders who are really good at making fake music. In order to simplify things, we've taken 6 of the more contentious fictional band rivalries and settled them for you. You're welcome.
6- Zack Attack vs. Hot Sundae
What is more typical American teenager then being in a band? Nothing, that's what. So a show that portrays "typical" American teenagers needs to include a band-Saved By The Bell was just that show and boy-howdy they had some musical interludes. Thus, "Zack Attack" was formed. Most of the main cast was in it with each playing their personality-specific part. Zack was the pretty-boy front-man, Slater pounded those macho sticks on the macho drums, Screech rocked the oh-so-respectable keyboard, Lisa (the token black character) rocked the soulful bass (which is, of course, what all people of color do giving their inherent soulfulness), and the rest of the girls did back-up vocals which is typical for pretty girls who can't play instruments. In the other corner we have the three girls putting their singing talents to use by forming the group "Hot Sundae." How double-entendre of them. While Zack Attack really only featured prominently in a dream sequence and at one school dance, Hot Sundaes actually made a music video-albeit the cheesiest one ever created. They pretty much run into a tie as far as bands go, but Hot Sundaes manages to edge out a win because Jessie does the cool rock star thing and forms a drug addiction. Caffeine pills are so punk rock.
It's summer music festival time, and while it's a prime chance to check out dozens of bands on the cheap, it's also a dangerous breeding ground for death, disease, and other catastrophes. These six tips may just save your life.
This may sound like a no-brainer to most but it seems like a majority of people tend to forget that outdoor music festivals are rife with drugs and alcohol which do an excellent job of dehydrating you while failing to remind you that you're becoming dehydrated. In a majority of music festivals there is very little shade and when you do go to see a performance you're packed together tightly like a bunch of sardines. Sardines that have consumed copious amounts of beer and weed. Drink plenty of water before you head into the festival. Find an oasis if you can and refill your water bottles as often as you drink them. Then while you're hydrated, watch all the people around you roll their eyes in the back of their heads and hit the ground faster than Peter McNeely.
Although many rappers have crossed over the Hollywood divide to become successful actors and actresses, the same cannot be said in reverse. Yet celebrities cannot seem to stay away from the rap scene, eager to prove that they can sort of sing and rhyme words along with the best of them. Keep reading for 7 of the weirdest incidences of celebrities deciding to launch their own (short) rap careers.
7- Ron Jeremy
Sex has become a staple among rap lyrics, so who better to lay down a rad beat than the lord of Porn, Ron Jeremy? Turns out a lot of people actually. But that didn't stop Ron from giving it his all alongside DJ Polo, who obviously did most of the heavy lifting on their collaboration, "Freak of the Week." But what Ron lacks in musical ability he makes up for in pure enthusiasm and his ability to bring in the A-list guest stars, such as Corey Feldman and Joey Buttafouco. That's like "Ocean's 11" level star power. It may seem odd that someone whose only real skill is having sex would try to be a rapper, but then again Ron Jeremy has proven time and time again that he will do absolutely anything to get attention.
Putting a group of accomplished rockers always sounds like a good idea, but sometimes the end product on stage is a bit less that the sum of its parts. The following five bands should have stuck to their original groups.
5- Blind Faith
This sounded really great on paper but the end result was nothing significant. Composed of Eric Clapton, Ginger Baker, Steve Winwood, and Ric Grech, Blind Faith's legacy didn't come from the music that was created. Their legacy has been attached to its album cover featuring a nude girl, which can be viewed here (very NSFW). Although the album reached number one in the US and the UK, the band (especially Clapton) felt the jamming was sub par. Part of the problem was that they didn't have enough music to play live and resorted to playing Cream and Dave Clark Five songs which was the exact opposite of intentions they started out with. Eventually the band fizzled and Clapton went on to create Derrick and the Dominoes and Winwood regrouping Traffic.
10) Radiohead- The Bends
Giving Gen Xer's an anthem to scream at the top of their lungs during their fourth semester at college with their first single "Creep", Radiohead shifted their rock roots into more experimental territory with the album "The Bends". With the encouragement of their producer John Leckie to experiment with their own sound Radiohead begin their steady relationship with rock critics with numbers like "Street Spirit", "High and Dry", and "Just". This album started a snowball effect that created "OK Computer", "Kid A", and "In Rainbows".
5) Living in the 90's-
Starting our list is the apparent "anything goes" attitude of 90's music with the compilation "Living in the 90's". Forget about the AIDS epidemic, the gulf war, and the Monica Lewinski sex scandal with this amazing collection! Pop in this two-CD or two-cassette mix and relish in the days when Shaquille O'Neil had a potential rap career that could rival Warren G's. This mix is unbelievable.... oh!
Highlights: I Gonna Be (500 Miles), Hold On, I'm Too Sexy
They may get all the attention but mainstream songstresses make us tired and sleepy. Paris may have the looks but she's absolutely devoid of natural talent. Mariah Carey has the voice but she's fallen off in the sex appeal department. Britney is a trainwreck these days and while Beyonce has the total package, we respect Jay-Z too much to ogle her; besides, he'd totally kick our ass if we did. So we thought it was high time we celebrated some sexy and talented women who are a feast for both the eyes and the ears! Join us as we countdown the 8 Sexiest Sirens of Indie Rock!
8- Joanna Newsom
When most people think of musical instruments, they tend to envision things like guitars, drums and pianos. But not a lot of people will think of the harp. Pay some attention to the beautiful Joanna Newsom, however, and the harp will suddenly look a whole lot more enticing. The lovely Ms. Newsom owns a fragile sounding voice that still somehow manages to convey a sense of strength; she's ridiculously easy on the eyes as well.
We have all been in that situation. You are at a party and then that one guy with the black glasses strikes up a conversation about pop culture just to hear his own voice and not your opinion. Well, these are the top 5 bands that he will probably discuss with you while you try and figure out a way to leave.
Although rare (in the sense that an Interpol fan actually wants to talk to you), if you bring up immediate comparisons to Joy Division you will be regarded as elementary and that you "don't understand" the music in question. Be prepared to be bombarded with an attack of your lack of appreciation for artful music, and how everything you listen to is crap.
Best way to duck out of the conversation: Shine a bright light in their face and bolt out the door.
Sometimes you can't afford the ticket for the ultimate concert, sometimes your too young to witness a band yourself, sometimes your too screwed up to remember any of it. Luckily there was a camera crew at the following concerts filming these performances for the future generations to enjoy.
8- Awesome! I Fucking Shot That...
This is the most current film on the list and is bound to be a classic. Giving the audience camcorders and telling them to shoot whatever they want, The Beastie Boys created a well oiled visual trip with precision editing and sound mixing. Playing in their hometown of New York City the Three Mcs and One DJ get the crowd pumped and never look back. After filming the movie, the Beasties saved all the reciepts and returned all but a few cameras to cut back on the cost. Low budget filmmaking at its finest.
Highlights: Hello Brooklyn, Intergalactic, Triple Trouble
One of the greatest things about the 80s is the slew of music videos that came from MTV. The majority of the videos had simple premises, but some of the videos needed that extra pull... a celebrity actor maybe?
Here's a list of five videos with celebrity actors who were brave enough to put their face on a music video.
5- Ratt's "Round and Round", starring Milton Berle
A small trend in 80s rock music included misspelling your bands name. Stryker and Motley Crue come to mind but many have forgotten another misspelled hair band called Ratt. Ratt had a hit with "Round and Round" which reached number twelve on the charts and boasted a famous video with comic legend Milton Berle.
Playing with familiar territory Milton plays both the husband and the wife who owns a mansion that is hosting a dinner party, which is interrupted by a raucous band in the attic. Ratt's manager was the real life nephew of Berle and decided to place him in the video because obviously nothing compliments sexual undertones better than an elderly forgotten comic.
The guitar solo saves the video with the guitarists grand entrance, which is almost equaled by the drummers intensity when he hits a symbol and then mutes it his bare hand! If you cant guess what the guests are having for dinner you should be hit with a hammer.
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