The prospect of a bearded old man breaking and entering into millions of homes is pretty scary, but when you call the guy Santa, suddenly it's okay. However, if you're talking about these 8 creepy versions of Saint Nick, then your mood may be considerably less merry.
8- Xanta Klaus
Unbeknownst to anyone who didn't watch the WWF during the early 90s, Santa Claus was born with a twin brother. And it's a scientific fact that when you have a pair of twins, one is good and one is evil. In the Clauses' case, it's very easy to distinguish the good from the evil, simply by observing their opposing features. For instance, the evil Klaus wears black, spells his name with the terrifying letters "X" and "K" and instead of giving away presents he steals them. He also enjoys clothes-lining shiny-chested, steroid-abusers in front of thousands of people for profit, but that has nothing to do with his twin. Based on his opposite behavioral patterns, one could assume that Xanta probably employs thousands of extremely tall men to break toys, yells "Oh! Oh! Oh!" prior to arriving at someone's home (presumably to steal and break their toys), and lives at the South Pole with his life partner, Steve. A children's book detailing Xanta's exploits is certainly due.
Bond films are famous for their action sequences, most of which require grueling stunt work. Here are the seven best single stunts that were all done by actual humans with no tricks or the benefit of CGI.
7- Diamonds are Forever
Sean Connery was paid a gigantic sum of money to play Bond after he left the role following You Only Live Twice; too bad Diamonds Are Forever couldn't have been better. However, the movie did have a sweet stunt where Bond ramps his Mustang on two wheels in order to escape police in Las Vegas. This same stunt was done, but with a tanker truck, in License to Kill.
Watch the stunt on YouTube!
It's been said that the James Bond movies are only as strong as their villains. Considering that some of the goriest deaths in the series come from the main villain executing his own henchmen (whether it's via piranha, sharks, compression chambers and the like), the head villains seem to get off easy. Sometimes, however, 007 gives them exactly what they deserve. Here are the nine grisliest ways that Bond's main antagonists have met their demise.
9- The World is Not Enough (1999)
Bond (Pierce Brosnan) mixes it up with terrorist-anarchist Renard (Robert Carlyle) in a nuclear submarine. As Renard prepares to move the last rod into position that will launch a nuclear missile, Bond re-routes the pressure so the rod is forcefully expelled, thus impaling the villain.
The death scene is a time honored tradition of movies and tv. Where else can a thespian push their skills to the limit (or what we might call overact) and make one last push to prove that they deserve an award of some kind for their wonderfully emotional death scene? However, some times important characters never get their shot at having their death captured on film, instead just having it mentioned in passing by other characters. Here are 7 of the most memorable.
7- Bill McNeal, NewsRadio
When Phil Hartman's crazy wife robbed the world of a comedy genius by killing him, it left a gigantic hole in his TV show NewsRadio. It was an ensemble cast, so they could go on without him, but it was still a devastating loss, as he often provided the funniest lines of any given episode. Luckily the show was littered to references to Bill's mortal enemies and his probable death, so at least it didn't come completely out of nowhere. Still, the first episode of the fifth season where it is revealed Bill has died of a heart attack was an emotional one, paying far more tribute to the actor than the actual character. Then of course they had to go and screw that all up by adding Jon Lovitz to the cast to fill in the empty hole. A thousand Jon Lovitzes couldn't make up one Phil Hartman. Figuratively of course. Jon Lovitz is actually much fatter.
Celebrities do not rise overnight. Well at least not real ones. The girls from the Hills and the now infamous Joe the Plumber may have gotten famous extremely quickly for apparently no reason, but most actual celebrities have to work tirelessly over years to get where they are now. That is why some of today's best actors have filmographies filled with some less than stellar film choices. The best, of course, are the ones who acted in projects that have no resemblance to anything they do today. Here are 8 of the best.
8- Laurence Fishburne- "Pee Wee's Playhouse"
These days Laurence is known primarily for offering horrible actors a blue or red pill, but back before he was the too cool for school Morpheus he appeared on Pee Wee's Playhouse as the, well, somewhat less cool Cowboy Curtis. With long black curls flowing from his oversized cowboy hat and an "only in the 80's" pastel splattered cowboy outfit, as Cowboy Curtis Laurence Fishburne managed to make the cowboy from the Village People look like John Wayne and Clint Eastwood rolled up into one. And the crowd he hung out with sure was different. I don't remember Chairy or Jambi the Genie ever dodging bullets in slow motion.
There is perhaps no boat, with the exception of the bikini-babe filled yacht, that man yearns to be inside more than the submarine. Hollywood has realized that and has produce many fiction stories featuring the aquatic wonder. However, some of the lamer ones are about as stupid as a screen door on a... well, you know.
7-The Penguin Sub from Batman: The Movie
It's tough to instill fear in your enemies when you're 5 feet tall and over 300 lbs, and you do yourself no further favors when you choose to sculpt your means of transportation after one of the most harmless birds in existence. But that's the breaks for the self-proclaimed "criminal mastermind" who has an unexplainable affinity for the flightless bird known as the penguin. During the 1966 Batman movie (based on the infamously campy Batman series that ran during the 60's), the portly super villain known as the Penguin harbored a menagerie of master criminals in his penguin-shaped, submersible lair. Eventually, said lair was discovered by the dark knight, and The Batman proceed to beat this plump super villain into compliance. But prior to this fat-ass-kicking, spectators were treated to several "high tech" underwater shots that showed Hollywood's movie-making magic at its best. The Golden years indeed.
As a superhero, maintaining your secret identity is paramount to a happy and healthy crime fighting career, and the same can be said for other vocations that utilize alter-egos. Unfortunately, all too often this clandestine identity isn't taken serious enough, and the people employing its use don't go far enough to shore up their secrets. Here are 8 examples of the most poorly disguised secret identities.
8- Angel Grove High School Students
The Secret Identity:
These powerful rangers capable of morphin really favored repeatedly wearing certain colors, and it wasn't by accident that their street clothes proclaimed the same 'tude as their "righteous" personalities. These were bold people with strong convictions, which could only be expressed with a wardrobe consisting of one color.
Once danger reared its ugly head and the morphin began (accompanied by a bitchin' guitar solo), the six mighty rangers--whose superhero costuming was always in the same color as their street clothes--would flip onto the battle scene, perform some kung-fu and then transform back into their identically-tinted school clothes. The pink ranger back into her pink dress, the green ranger back into his sleeveless green polo, and no one was ever the wiser regarding this group of six inseparable friends who were always suspiciously near those massive battles with extraterrestrial robots.
In real life, it's hard to take down an enemy with one punch. Moreover, it hardly assures your dominance after the act. In the wonderful world of Hollywood, however, a well-placed punch will bring about great change. Here's 8 punches that mattered.
8- Jason Voorhees vs. Julius Gaw in Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan
Friday the 13th antagonist Jason Voorhees has two types of interaction with his enemies. Either he's quickly killing an unsuspecting and usually nude victim or being slowly killed by the survivors at the end of the film. His brawl with pugilist Julius Gaw seems to defy that convention, which makes the conclusion all the more shocking. Julius unloads punch after punch on Jason, which fazed the mass murderer ever so slightly. After a minute of uninterrupted and ineffectual offense, Julius relents, allowing Jason to finally get a punch in. He only needs one, since it beheads Julius, sending his cranium careening off the roof, and into a dumpster, with such force that the lid closes over it!
Knockout Time: 1:56.
Box office bombs are nothing special. Every so often an Adventures of Pluto Nash or Stealth gets unleashed on a public that recognizes how terrible it will be and refuse to go. And have you seen the public lately? Your movie has to be pretty damn bad to tip these people off. But once in a great while, a film will emerge that does so poorly that it manages to destroy not just Hollywood careers, but entire movie studios. So join us in paying tribute to these 7 studio killing disasterpieces
7- Million Dollar Mystery
At first glance, Million Dollar Mystery seems like nothing more than a bad rip-off of It's a Mad, Mad, Mad (is that too many Mads?) World. An ex-White House employee tells a Diner full of kooky characters where he has hidden 4 million dollars, each million hidden separately. Naturally crazy, comical antics ensue as the motley crew find and subsequently lose all three of the first million dollar bounties. So far just a less entertaining Rat Race. And Rat Race wasn't exactly a laugh riot. However, here's the twist: during the credits a member of the cast appears to tell the audience to follow the clues on special Glad-Bags so they can track down the fourth million themselves! Unfortunately even this marketing scam didn't help the movie, which grossed even less for the studio than that million dollars they promised. De Laurentiis Entertainment Group, which produced the gimmicky disaster, folded soon after the failure. Probably didn't help that one of the few movies they made after was called Dracula's Widow.
Try as the MPAA might to make movie ratings work, you're bound to run into a movie branded for the wrong audience. Whether it's overly punishing fleeting moments of mature content, or going easy on an established franchise or director, the following six movies could have used another screening before they slapped the rating on the poster.
6- The Dark Knight
PG-13 is the comic-book movie rating. From the campy Batman and Robin to the sinister Spawn, any movie featuring cape-wearing crimefighters seems destined to get the middling, unenforceable rating. With The Dark Knight, however, we wonder whether an R rating may have been more appropriate. Between the sudden acts of extreme violence (particularly the "pencil trick"), the mature themes, and the overall macabre tone of the movie, The Dark Knight stands as an altogether different breed of superhero movie--one that may have warranted a different rating.
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