Before the age of highly refined and comprehensive search engines, people had to play the URL guessing game in order to find their favorite sites. What would begin as a trivial romp through the web would often turn into a terrifying journey into the depths of misrepresented websites. Why, when I'm looking for some sweet scat porn, do I get some boring corporate website? We sympathize with the weary internet traveler. That's why we're listing the most misrepresented and poorly named websites on the net. Get ready for the seven most misleading URLs.
A sausage fest is one of the most unfavorable situations for your standard heterosexual male. For that reason I suspect that not many guys would be trying to visit sausagefest.com. However, it turns out that sausagefest.com is a great destination for anyone. The site advocates grillin' up sausages, (the edible kind) and partying with friends in the annual Sausage Fest. But wait, what if Sausage Fest turns out to be a sausage fest?!
The overall feeling: Confused elation with a hint of disgust.
Ask Eddy Murphy about this one. BBW is a popular abbreviation of the term Big Beautiful Women. If you show up to bbw.com with a hunger for Bigguns, be prepared to starve. All expectations are shot upon the realization that you've entered the official site for Bath and Body Works. This realization is maybe not so disappointing since Bath and Body Works is a means to some BBW.
The overall feeling: Mild disappointment.
Let's think of a few of the possibilities here, DP could stand for several different things. Donkey punch? Double Penetration? The fabulous Dorothy Perkins? All of which fit the profile of dp.com much more than what dp.com actually stands for - Design Power. How lame. A company that provides "design automation solutions [that] reduce engineering time and cost with an order of magnitude." is no match for a site that provides DP on an order of magnitude.
The overall feeling: Extreme disappointment.
Oh my GOD! That's what visitors of omg.com should say. Expecting to find a consortment of the coolest crap from around the internet, visitors are dissapointed to find an organization that regulates software technology. It says any organization is welcome to join, but who would want to have their software regulated? That sounds like something that happens at doublepenetration.com
The overall feeling: Whatever software regulation feels like.
Traditionally, a dutch oven refers to the tendency of a person to build up flatulence, under the blankets, and trap his or her significant other under the covers for a fart smelling session. This is a complicated technique that may require careful guidance, visual examples and a fully functional discussion forum. Such resources could only be found at dutchoven.com. Alas, there's another kind of dutch oven and it doesn't cook your wife's face in fart. The real dutchoven.com sells baked goods and yarn products.
Overall feeling: Duh, a dutch oven comes from the heart. You can't learn how to love someone, you just do.
Sometimes people just need directions. Whether it be directions from ones house to the grocery store or directions on how to assemble a newly purchased death-trap shelf from IKEA. Directions.com should be everyone's ultimate direction resource. The reality is that directions.com is the site of a marketing/advertising firm. The good news is they designed the cover art for Depends: Adult Diapers and those cardboard Kotex kiosks that make tampon grabbing a breeze.
Overall feeling: Content understanding that Directions fills a crucially important market niche in the pants of women and the elderly.
Probably the most misrepresented website on all of the internet is television.com. The word, television, has but one formal definition in the English language. Television.com should contain program schedules, televisions for sale, or at least a picture of a television. Reality comes like a slap in the face when you realize that television.com is actually Mike O'Connor's personal webspace. Mike blogs about his, "media-producing podcasting life in western Wisconsin." We all know that he's really just hoarding the rights to television.com so that he can sell it to Viacomm for several million. Good job, Mike, for beating the rest of the world to the punch. And have fun hanging out with your fancy URL.
Overall feeling:Unwarranted jealously.
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